jerkhunter (jerkhunter) wrote in jerk_bitchunter,

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Mirrors, Secrets, and Bad Luck

In my line of work, I have heard and seen a lot of strange ass things, but this case blew me away. Arguably, one of the most infamous urban legends in America is Bloody Mary, and turns out the bitch actually exist. Historically, one wonders if the legend of Bloody Mary came from the English Queen Mary I who was nicknamed Bloody Mary when she began persecuting protestants and ended up burning over 300 of them alive, but all I know for sure is that if you say her name three times in a row in front of a mirror, it might not be you she comes after...

Nebraska, the day after New Years (what a way to bring in the new year), this guy dies in his house and his eyes were liquefied (that's just nine kinds of creepy), and it turns out that it was his daughter who had conjured up Mary not him, so Sam and I investigate and find out that the man had possible killed his own wife; thus Mary wanted to punish him for keeping his dark secret from the world. We hook up with Charley (another hottie I must confess), and begin to discover that Mary is after her because Charley broke up with her boyfriend causing him to kill himself. Now, I could argue until I was blue in the face that his death wasn't Charley's fault, but Mary just didn't seem to give a shit. There is no grey area as far as that bitch is concerned; only black and white, and Charley was clearly in the black. 

Do you have any idea had hard it is to keep someone away from a reflective surface? That's what we had to do with Charley to keep Mary away. Sam came up with a plan to trap and kill Mary, but I wasn't so happy with his brilliant idea. He told me that he had a secret about Jess and that he thought he could get Mary to come after him. I'm like, what the hell Sam? What kind of secret is it? And he's like, if I told you it wouldn't be secret...WHAT A FUCKER! Anyway, we go to this mirror shop to locate the mirror Mary was murdered in front of, Sam conjures her up, bleeds from his eyes, and I break the mirror, plus a few more trapping her soul in the mirror, but as usual, the monster of the week has a surprise up her sleeve and steps out of the mirror and comes after the both of us. BOTH of our eyes bleed (I have a few secrets of my own), and I grab this smaller mirror, make the bitch look at herself, and she finally dies.

Do you have any idea how much bad luck I have from breaking all of those mirrors? I want live long enough to out live the bad luck that bitch has caused me.

BTW, Sam still won't tell me his secret. I'm a little hurt. I'm pissed actually, but it's his prerogative to keep the secret from me, but he won't be getting any until he tells me...I can promise you that!

"Time to place judgment on yourself Mary."

Tags: bloody mary, mirrors, secrets
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