Log in

No account? Create an account
12 January 2006 @ 03:54 pm
I knew I was sexy but damn!  
Okay seriously, there should be a law against being as sexy as I am! I've always had somewhat of a high regard for my looks (some might even call me vain), but this latest case has proven to me that my vanity has been well founded for all these years.

Sam got a call from Rebecca, a college friend, and we were off to St. Louis to investigate a mysterious murder that Rebecca's brother had been accused of. Turns out this thing that killed Rebecca brother's wife looked like him but wasn't him, and of course the oh-so brilliant police caught the brother on a video camera but didn't notice that this thing's eyes flash silver at certain camera angles. Sam and I knew that something wasn't right and began investigating other murders in the area with the same M.O. (woman in her house stabbed to death-husband or boyfriend were arrested and charged for the murder).

We ended up going down in the sewer and figuring out that this thing was a shapeshifter who loses its skin once it has killed, and let me tell you that those skins are some nasty ass shit! They look like something I've puked up from Waffle House when I've had too much to drink. Anyway, this bastard came out of nowhere, hit me over the head, stole my necklace (apparently they need something of their doppelganger to assume their identity), and tied me up in its lair. Meanwhile, Sam was stuck with this beast wearing my skin and realized it pretty quickly, but he still got knocked out as well and was dragged down into the sewer. BTW, in the sewer the shapeshifter said some mean ass shit to my baby brother that I will let him share in his post and went off to kill Rebecca using my skin...What the fuck?! Dude, that is so not cool.

Apparently my better half flirted with Rebecca, got a little rough when she told him to fuck off, and tied her up so he could torture her, but the cops (can you believe they actually did something right?) broke into Rebecca's home, stopped the sexy shapeshifter from killing Rebecca, and guess whose face ended up on the TV wanted for being a serial killer after the bastard had escaped from the cops?

Meanwhile, Sam and I got free and Sam went back to Rebecca's the next day to check in on her, but guess what...the shapeshifter was now using Rebecca's skin and attacked Sam. Of course, this thing immediately shifted back to my skin because it missed my luscious body, and he and Sam beat the shit out of each other for like ten minutes. I waited in the corner watching this kick ass fight, snacked on some popcorn, got a lap dance from Rebecca, and almost forgot that Sammy needed my help, but  in the end I shot the shapeshifting bastard dead and took back my necklace.

In conclusion, I was buried in St. Louis, had my pretty mug plastered all over the newspapers and TV for being a serial killer, and now I can never let the police know that a Dean Winchester with my fingerprints is still alive or my ass will be going to prison for a long long long time. 

Still, I can't help but to think that it would be fun to have two of me again. Imagine what Sammy could do to us both...

It's not everyday you get to look at yourself when you're dead...but damn I'm sexy!
Current Location: anywhere besides Missouri
Current Mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable
Current Music: Slayer
daddyhunterdaddyhunter on August 2nd, 2007 08:33 am (UTC)
I saw the sketch they did of you when it hit the news the night all this happened. It didn't look a thing like you, son.

This proves what you've been telling me for years. Everybody wants you.

St. Louis cops, state cops, feds...

In all seriousness, try to stay out of the hands of the authorities. Things are hot for you right now and I don't think prison would suit you.
jerkhunterjerkhunter on August 3rd, 2007 08:50 pm (UTC)
Does prison really suit anyone? I'd either be dead in the first two days because nobody is touching me against my will, or I'd be the one everybody avoids like the plague because I beat so many asses my first few days that they figured out I wasn't worth the effort.
Sammy on the other hand...tall as hell, intimidating in the bedroom, but a whimp when it comes to confrontation with strangers.
daddyhunterdaddyhunter on August 5th, 2007 10:34 pm (UTC)
You're like me in that. I'd rather commit suicide by cop than end up in prison and if I did end up there I wouldn't be getting out for good behavior. I'd kill anyone who looked at me funny. It's what you have to do. Make them respect you and they'll leave you alone.

Sam's a Hunter but he's also a genuinely nice guy. Unfortunately being a nice guy can get you killed. You act nice and charming until it's time to NOT act nice and charming. That's kept you alive more times than I can count, son.

It's good to know that the two of you are together now. Hopefully you two can keep each other alive.