jerkhunter (jerkhunter) wrote in jerk_bitchunter,

The Hookman is fucking real??

Who the hell goes around attacking people with a fucking hook? I mean, it's not exactly the most conspicuous weapon out there? And, it's meassy as hell...blood splattering all over walls, furniture, trees, me, and Sam. Speaking of Sam, he met this cute little chick named Lori, I actually thought he stood a chance of at least getting to first base with her, but it turns out that her father is a reverend and she is all virtuous and innocent. And Sam...he's still trying to get over Jessica, so I'll cut him some slack this time.

Anyway, this Hookman bastard was terrorizing Lori...turns out that she was wearing a cross that he been forged out of the silver from Hook's hook...WTF?? Who the hell does that? He killed 13 prostitutes with a hook and the authorities melted it down so that they could make crosses with it...isn't that a bit blasphemous?? Yeah, I know Sam...I actually know a word longer than six're amazed, I know. Speaking of the cops, those stupid asses arrested me and Sam for trespassing in the woods near the road the Hook stalked at night, and they thought that we were the ones doing the killing or something like that. I mean, how stupid can you be? We were carrying double-barrell shot guns with rock salt NOT wearing a matching set of hooks. Oh, one last thing, this is the last time I will be going to a cemetery at night by myself while Sam stays back with the cute girl...

On a positive note, I did get to go to a college party, crawled into a a girl's dorm room, and snuck a pair of pink-laced panties for my collection...something about silk rubbing up against my crotch gets me hot...probably could have left that fact out but Dad taught me to be thorough when retelling a tale.


Tags: hookman
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